Green Monkey Grinders Reviews

By Caleb C.
Sticky grinder? Read this review to find out just how good the grinders that feature the sharpest teeth and grippiest handles from the jungle really are. Grind from tree to tree with Green Monkey Grinders.

Green Monkey Grinders Reviews

Green Monkey Grinders is a new entrant to the Grinders for Herb space that has broken onto the scene with a star lineup of both classic and newly designed grinders. Each of Green Monkey’s Grinders features the Green Monkey logo printed with the name in raised text across the lid - highlighting branding across an impressive array of grinder options. Their website offers wholesale and individual sales of their new designs.

Green Monkey Grinders and our Reviews

To be frank, I used to think that grinders all look alike. Walk into your local head shop and unless they have Green Monkey Grinders for sale, almost every single grinder on display will likely look the same with only color differences. I’ve never received grinders in the mail before, but I was very impressed by the packaging.

Green Monkey Grinders Products

Each grinder came in its own box and was additionally protected by a small plastic baggie that helped show that there were no scratches and the grinders arrived undamaged. The bigger grinder box even had the Green Monkey Grinders name and logo placed over the top in shiny silver letters.

Green Monkey 4 Piece Grinder Reviews

Green Monkey 4 Piece Grinder

Upon opening the RAINBOW GRINDER - 50MM box, I was pleased with how slick everything was packaged and I felt it was the most Apple-like experience that I’ve had unpackaging a grinder before.

This rainbow-colored grinder is made from aluminum - which is comfortable for me because I’ve been using an aluminum grinder religiously for almost a decade. What’s cool about this grinder is the tempered rainbow, titanium coated on top of the aluminum. This grinder is designed as a classical 4-piece just like my previous one, and likely most people's’ previous grinders. The kief catcher even comes equipped with a straight up guitar pick. A much-appreciated nod. Now if they’d only included a Green Monkey coin for the ground herb compartment!

RAINBOW GRINDER - 50MM

I like the rainbow color and the fact that I don’t have to worry about chipped, colored paint getting into the grinder should I be too rough with it. I put herb into the grinder and it ended up perfectly ground. Turning the grinder was smooth and only a few turns were needed. I received and tested the 50mm diameter grinder but Green Monkey Grinders sells this exact grinder in sizes up to 100mm.

Effectiveness: 5/5

Ease of use: 4.5/5

Overall score: 4.75/5

Green Monkey Baboon Grinder Reviews

Green Monkey Baboon Grinder

Next, I tested the 50mm Red Baboon Grinder which ended up being the upgrade I didn’t know I needed. I’ve always preferred aluminum grinders to steel grinders. On the larger scale of things, I’ve always preferred metal grinders over plastic ones. This grinder is made of titanium and is the first titanium grinder that I’ve ever had the pleasure of pulverizing herb with. The grinding action was almost fluid it was so smooth.

The Baboon Grinder has a unique look that was intentionally designed for both branding and functionality purposes. I’ve seen some grinders go for new designs purely for branding purposes and that never works out. The first thing you’ll notice that’s different about the Baboon grinder is that the top piece, the magnetic lid, is way thicker and heavier than your average grinder. It even comes with a set of evenly spaced grooves which Green Monkey considers to resemble the mane of a Baboon.

50mm Red Baboon Grinder

On the underside of this top piece, you’ll notice teeth with sharp edges and a unique shape. Instead of the traditional parallelepiped-shaped teeth that features only two acute-angled edges for cutting and grinding use, the Green Monkey Baboon grinder features custom cylinder/prism hybrid-shaped teeth - actually, let’s call them gnashers - where all four edges are acute-angled and optimized for being in a grinder. The kief catcher features a plastic kief scraper instead of a guitar pick.

Between the titanium build, the redesigned gnashers, and the grooved-for-grip design, the Baboon grinder can efficiently handle both sticky and full-of-sticks herbs. Though I’m wary of colored grinders and the potential for chipping - all it took was a few rough tapping to assure me that that wouldn’t be a problem here.

Effectiveness: 5/5

Ease of use: 5/5

Overall score: 5/5

Green Monkey Grinders really does make some quality grinders and offers the whole gamut of grinders from your standard aluminum grinder to high-end titanium grinders and everything in between. They even have that new style of grinder where there’s a blade!

Use code MONKEYSLYNG” for an awesome 15% OFF your entire order from Green Monkey Grinders site!

Citations

1. About us. Retrieved May 13, 2019 from https://greenmonkeygrinders.com/pages/about-us

2. Green Monkey Rainbow Grinder - 50MM. Retrieved May 13, 2019 from https://greenmonkeygrinders.com/products/green-monkey-rainbow-grinder-50mm?variant=21296590094418

3. Green Monkey Baboon Grinder - Red - 50MM. Retrieved May 13, 2019 from https://greenmonkeygrinders.com/collections/baboon-series/products/green-monkey-baboon-grinder-red-50mm?variant=22084592336978

About the author: Caleb C.

Caleb C. is a chronic writer that goes by the alias The Highest Critic. He has previously written for MERRY JANE, Jerome Baker Designs, and The Stoned Gamer.